Growing up was hard for most of us. Especially if you just skipped the 70s and had to grow up in the real, hardworking world, most of us did not have that ideal, pampered life. We had working parents who had little time to be with us and the result was that the times that they were with us, they tried their best to show us the way of the world, correct us and make us “better people”. When we went to school we had teachers who had to take care of children with different temperaments and handling a class was never easy, so they ended up treating everyone the same, even though each child would have probably benefited more from customized ways of correction. In the end, we grew up treating ourselves the way we were treated, and sometimes that isn’t a good thing.
See, the adults of our growing up time were only doing what they knew and were taught themselves. They were only doing the best they could, which may or may not have been the best for us. All we did was imbibe and absorb the same methods, and ended up treating ourselves in the same manner. Have you ever noticed that sometimes you correct yourself (mostly in your head) in a similar manner that your mother or other authoritative figure did to you? Here is the difference: when someone else corrected you, they did so from their point of you with their own intentions in mind. When it comes to self correction and self criticism, you need to change the way you improve upon yourself, before you unconsciously start loathing and rebelling against your own head.
The important thing to do is forget everything you have learnt. Unlearn. Then begin to love yourself. Accept yourself just the way you are and keep repeating to yourself that no matter what – the failures, mistakes, problems, set backs or obstacles that you may face, you will not think anything less of who you are. Once you are done with that, you can patiently think of the things you would like to change about yourself, no judgements attached. Along with finding what is wrong about you, take time out to regularly point out the things about you – compliment yourself, praise your achievements and treat yourself to something good just because. No reason.
Every successful person who ever achieved their dreams and conquered the impossible believed in themselves. External environments will keep changing and people’s opinions will swing from bad to good to bad again in the blink of an eye. But the one person who should matter the most to you is yourself. If you love yourself and accept who you are, just the way you are, then there is a bright future for you – every obstacle will seem to be but a mirage and every opposing opinion will be a phrase of mere words.
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