Criticism, because it is negative, is like digging a hole. Every time someone criticizes, they are making it deeper. Imagine if you self-criticize. It also means that you are digging a hole for yourself. And the deeper you go, the darker it gets. Those who look negatively inwards are going to end up feeling depressed and have low self-esteem.
The best way that you can make changes to your life and at the same time not feel bad about it, is by self-criticizing in the right way:
Be Kind – Criticism doesn’t need to involve harshness. When we were in school and did something wrong, we were yelled at and made to feel stupid, embarrassed in front of the whole class. Even our parents punished us when they found out something that we shouldn’t have done. But here’s the thing – they are external sources who aren’t responsible for your personal growth. But you are the one living with yourself and will do so for the rest of your life, so you need to be the kindest to yourself.
Meditate – Another way to take note of your life is to meditate. It’s not about being spiritual or praying to any deity, it’s about finding some quiet time to sit by yourself and introspect. Learning more about who you are will then lead you down a positive road where you can work on the things you want to change.
Keep A Journal – There is something so beautiful about keeping a journal. One day you can go through old entries and reminisce about who you used to be and how you used to think and see how far you’ve come! By writing things down, you also bring yourself to observe where you’re thoughts are leading you and how to make a change accordingly.
Set Goals – Like everything else in life, setting goals for personal growth plays and important role in making you feel that you are accomplishing something for yourself. You can write it down on a piece of paper and set it up at a prominent place like the refrigerator door or near your bed. Look at it often and as and when you complete something, strike it out! It’s like a bucket list, but for self improvement. As and when you overcome something you considered a major obstacle, treat yourself to something like a new pair of shoes or concert tickets.
Be Your Best Friend – Numerous times in everyone’s life have we all had a friend or loved one who let us down, maybe gossiped behind our backs or spread the secrets we shared. We felt betrayed, hurt and at a loss of words about how someone so close and trusted could let us down like that! But that is human tendency and the best thing you can do for yourself is move on. There is one person, however, who can trust in life and that is none other than yourself! Spend quality time, take yourself out on dates, go shopping, get a massage and do something that makes you happy. You can go a step further by sometimes buying yourself flowers – why not! Many times we think about giving to others without first giving to ourselves. Check out this amazing TED Talk (don’t we all just LOVE TED?!) by Tracy McMillan who learnt the hard way about loving herself, but grew nonetheless:
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